Last Week

As most of you are aware last week something quite unexpected happened where I work and live. A little 12 year old girl died on a mountain biking activity on Monday afternoon. It was a total freak accident. Our staff were not at fault in any way. Our gear was not faulty in any way. The Lord just took her. Her helmet was securely fastened and in place. She died from a head injury from the accident.

Seeing our staff run out and respond to emergency medical situations is something that I've become accustomed to so when that happened on Monday afternoon I wasn't really alarmed. I figured I'd find out later what had happened. Well, as a little time passed I knew that this was serious. The whole thing was like something you'd see in a movie. About 4 of our staff went out to the scene (our camp RN, yc director and 2 EMTs that are on staff here), shortly after EMS arrived and about 30 minutes later a helicopter landed in our front field right outside my office window to fly the precious girl to the Montrose hospital. We ended up not using the helicopter. As I was observing what was going on outside my window, it just didn't seem real. It still doesn't really feel real.

In the midst of this great tragedy, I can see God's hand in so many things. He has most definitely been preparing us for this all summer. We have had a series of unusual and potentially very serious accidents this summer in which everyone came out just fine in the end. These things have made us wonder what the Lord is trying to teach us and what He may be preparing us for. He has been stretching our faith and our trust in Him for sure. Thankfully, no one actually saw the accident take place. The other campers were out of sight and never saw her. The Lord blessed us with a liscensed Christian counselor that was here to help guide us last week. He just "happened" to be in town with some friends to Redcloud. One of the Lake City pastors' schedule was open pretty much the entire week allowing him to be present to give support and godly guidance to our staff. Also, it was no one's fault. It wasn't because of an oversight on our staff's part or from faulty equipment. He provided extra hands and willing hearts to help out with program that week. They just "happened" to be here. Patch (a former staff member who has had tremendous influence on the staff and campers over the past 15ish years just "happened" to be the speaker last week. His presence was such a blessing. Also, our former CEO and his wife just "happened" to be at camp later that week for a wedding. As you can see, the Lord was working.

Seeing the article in our local paper on Friday was really wierd and hard. Maybe seeing it in print right in front of me and reading the story made it a bit more real and final; I'm not sure. I don't really know what to do with all of these emotions and feelings. Why do I feel angry? Why do I just want to break down in tears sometimes? The struggle is real. The spiritual battle is in full force here at camp and in the world. Satan wants nothing more than to destroy the work that God is doing in the hearts and lives of the staff and campers here. I have so many thoughts and things I could write, but that would take way too long. More may come out as the months go by.

I will share something that helped my perspective on things and gave me comfort and hope. I believe the Lord spoke this to my heart as I was thinking about these things.
I don't understand all the details of the "why questions." Why did this happen? Why a little innocent girl? Why at Redcloud? The list goes on. But you know what, I also don't understand why the God of the universe loves me. I do not understand why He would send His beloved Son to die for a wretched sinner, me. I do not understand why he blesse me. I could keep going along these lines, but I believe you understand my point. I do not questions God's character in the "positive" whys. I accept them. They do humble me, but I do not question God's goodness or His mercy or his justness. When things like this happen though, we tend to question God's character. How can a good God let something like this happen? Can I really trust the Lord with all of the details of my life? I have such a double-standard. Either He is God or He isn't. Either He is who He says He is completely, or He isn't at all. God's character does not change with our changing circumstances. How comforting! When the everything in the world seems to be going hopelessly wrong, my God is still the same.

Is everything all nice and pretty in the hearts of the staff here now? Is everthing "right" now that it's been almost a week? Will everything go back to "normal?" We are still hurting. We are still healing. We are still striving to find understanding and peace in the midst of it all. I am still clinging desperately to Him even though I don't understand, but I've never completely understood anything about God and His ways. Why do I expect to now? He is God, and I am not. My job is to trust...trust and obey...even when I don't FEEL like it. The last few weeks will be a hard push towards the finish line of summertime here. God will give us the strength we need when we don't want to carry on. The fact is that we must. Daily tasks still need to be completed. Life must still be lived. We must push forward no matter how hard that may be. We must NOT forget. We must remember and learn and grow and use all of these things for His glory. I KNOW that God will be glorified through all of this. I have to believe that there is a greater purpose for it.

To God be the glory.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
Hebrews 13:8 (NIV)